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LAGOS, NIGERIA—Izzy was feeling hopeful about the year ahead. It was January 2010 and she was about to meet a woman she’d been chatting with online for a few weeks.

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Her date had been pestering her to meet for some time, she remembered, but she had wanted to wait. “I was happy we were finally meeting physically,” Izzy recalled.

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Even during the chaos of her assault, Izzy said she had a moment of realization that this had been planned all along.

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Izzy is one of thousands of queer Nigerian women, men, and non-binary people subjected to a practice known locally as “kito,” according to data shared by multiple organizations with 【 - Free Step-by-Step Investment Guide 】. It involves someone pretending to be interested in a relationship with a target, usually through social media or on dating apps, and luring that person into a meet up where they are then physically and verbally assaulted, and often extorted. Sometimes, the perpetrators film the attack.

“This type of harm exists everywhere, but in Nigeria we call it kito. Kito is anything done to harm a member of the LGBT+ community due to their online activity,” explained Akudo Oguaghamba, founder and executive director of Women's Health and Equal Rights (WHER).

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“Attacks against members of the (LGBTQ) community have always happened but were not as rampant as they are now,” Makinde told 【 - Free Step-by-Step Investment Guide 】. According to the activist, the passing of the act into law “fueled more homophobic attacks, further shrinking the voices and visibility of members of the community.”

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In 2023 alone, TIERs shared that they helped 65 men, women, intersex and trans people in Nigeria who were targets of kito attacks in which they were physically abused. Two of them identified as women. The nonprofit also shared that more than 550 people were blackmailed and extorted, many of whom were first targeted online.

Damola Bolaji, TIERs’ advocacy and communications officer, told 【 - Free Step-by-Step Investment Guide 】 that these numbers reflect just a fraction of attacks that have happened during these timeframes, because, as she pointed out, the data only reflects attacks in Lagos – and only attacks that have been reported. Figures will be higher across Nigeria, Bolaji explained, and among queer women, who are less likely to report them or share their experiences because they face more stigma than gay or bisexual men due to having not met the expectations placed on them by society to get married and have children. Those with children fear losing them if their sexuality is revealed.

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Kito attacks have eroded trust in digital platforms that once offered a way to find community and intimacy in a society still deeply hostile toward homosexuality.

“You are trying to reach out to someone that is like you, someone that you can have a relationship with, someone that you know you can relate to, and then you fall prey (to) people who are either camouflaging as queer or who are queer and just nefarious,” said Makinde.

【 - Free Step-by-Step Investment Guide 】 interviewed 16 women who said they were kitoed by people they met on social media platforms or dating apps between 2010 and 2023. Each had horrific stories to tell about being beaten, stripped naked in public, robbed, blackmailed, and sometimes, raped.

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Her mother found a church which agreed to take her in but there, she said, as a pregnant young woman with a masculine appearance, she was made to attend prayer meetings, known as deliverance sessions, intended to rid her of demons.

Izzy said she also had to endure sexual advances from men within the church community, including pastors. “At night I couldn’t sleep without a man coming to touch me,” she said.

Izzy fled the church after three months. But, explained that after several more months of sleeping in cars or squatting with friends, desperate, she returned home, and her father reluctantly took her back in.

Practices that attempt to convert a person’s sexual orientation or their gender identity are common in Nigerian society, across its various religious groups, and can include psychological, medical or religious “treatments” that may either be forced or voluntary.

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In addition to Rafiat, three other women told 【 - Free Step-by-Step Investment Guide 】 that they had entered into marriages as a cover for their sexuality or had children in order to relieve some of the pressure they felt, especially from their mothers.

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In an effort to protect them, Ude arranges marriages between queer women and men and said that it is common for these relationships to turn sour. However, he explained, women will often not walk away for fear that their sexuality will be exposed or for fear of losing their children. In Nigeria, he added, “there seems to be a blemish that comes from being a divorcee."

“Typically, women are raised to not speak up and try to deal with their miseries alone to avoid being shamed,” said Odafe Umufo, head of content at Pride TV, a Nigerian online media advocacy group.

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Izzy told 【 - Free Step-by-Step Investment Guide 】 that when she reported her attack to the Lagos police, they condemned her actions, not her attackers’. “They told me I was a wayward child, that I opened my legs for (them),” she said.

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One victim told 【 - Free Step-by-Step Investment Guide 】 that her attackers casually told her that this was what they did for a living. They let her go after she had given them her phone, her bank card and PIN number.

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However, human rights experts say that Nigeria’s Constitution – in which freedom of conscience and expression are enshrined – and its Cybercrime Act (passed a year after the Same Sex Marriage Prohibition Act) should, in theory, protect every citizen of the country, regardless of their sexual orientation.

In practice though, as digital rights lawyer Mojirayo Ogunlana told 【 - Free Step-by-Step Investment Guide 】, authorities do not have a good grasp of the law. She said she wants law enforcement agencies to receive training from LGBTQ organizations so they are better able to put aside their own biases and rigorously investigate kito cases. But Ogunlana admits that the problem is bigger than Nigeria’s law enforcement agencies.

“The major problem is ignorance,” she told 【 - Free Step-by-Step Investment Guide 】. “Ignorance that is being infested by religiosity.”

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In the meantime, isolated and inadequately protected by the law and law enforcement agencies, queer Nigerians are having to implement their own protections, 【 - Free Step-by-Step Investment Guide 】 learned. These, however, are not failsafe.

Izzy said she became more careful about dating after her 2010 attack. She interacted for longer with the people she met online, insisted on video calls with them, and only agreed to meet in public. But even having taken these precautions, Izzy was the victim of another kito attack.

In 2016, instead of meeting the woman she had been speaking to for a few weeks, Izzy said a man dressed in a military uniform turned up.

Izzy said that this man extorted ₦85,000 (US $427) from her for almost a month in March that year. She said it only stopped after she destroyed her sim card, and he was no longer able to contact her.

Izzy said she now uses another phone number, and all the women who shared their kito stories told 【 - Free Step-by-Step Investment Guide 】 that they have had to shut down their accounts on the platforms where they had been targeted.

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【 - Free Step-by-Step Investment Guide 】 attended a “wellness party” Rafiat hosted in her home for her friends who had suffered various forms of attacks because of their sexuality. While the world around them remains hostile, here, the women were supporting each other, sharing stories of trauma but also tales of nights out as they laughed and sang Nigerian pop songs.

Even meeting this way carries safety risks, experts say, these parties can always be infiltrated by people looking to cause harm or make a quick buck – but for now, it’s the best option they have.

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If you or anyone you know has been affected by abuse, the following services are available to help you:

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Internationalviolence helplines:A worldwide list of directories is provided byUN Women. You can also find a list of national agencies onThe Pixel Project.