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“It’s one of those life-changing things,” Kimberly tells 【 - Free Investment Community 】 Travel. “Once you quit your job and you retire. You can’t get it back if you made a mistake.

“So I think he was pretty nervous about it. And I told him, ‘Look, no matter what happens, we’re going to wish we started earlier… There’s just no other way to look at it.’

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“Even if you do have to contemplate as a woman, probably being a widow, you don’t contemplate it now,” she says. “We just had the world by the tail. I mean, we were crushing it.”

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“We just wanted to travel. We liked Europe, and Southern California is so far away from Europe. That flight… I just didn’t want to do it. I wanted to come over and stay.”

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Once they were finally ready to make their move, the couple sold off most of their possessions, opting to keep their house in San Diego, found “good homes” for their two dogs and bid their friends and family farewell.

“Our whole neighborhood had a big send off for us,” Kimberly recalls. “They had a pool on when we’d be back. And nobody had more than six months, but we settled into that lifestyle and we really liked it.”

Over the next few years, Kimberly and Mark jetted to destinations like Amsterdam, Denmark, Brussels, Germany, France, Spain, Italy and the United Kingdom, often house sitting for other couples. They chronicled their travels in anonline blog.

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“We thought, ‘OK, we like this. We can do this.’” Kimberly recalls. “And we started doing what we needed to do to get residency. That was about three years ago.”

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Kimberly and Mark rented a home in Vilamoura, a resort in the Algarve region of southern Portugal, and focused their energies on becoming familiar with their new surroundings.

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“The really super patience of the Portuguese people is so funny,” says Kimberly. “We would be stopped behind a car… And there’s several cars holding you back. You figure there’s a (traffic) light.

“After five or 10 minutes, you wonder, ‘Why are we still stopped?’ And somebody has just gotten out of their car and gone into the pharmacy or something, and none of the other cars mind.

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“That’s one of those things you don’t notice until you leave,” she says. “Everybody I know in the US would be offended by me saying that, because they don’t know what they don’t know.”

Kimberly goes on to explain that there isn’t the same “depth of stuff” over there, and she’s quite happy to do without.

“If everybody’s going to have the same set of dishes, you don’t have to worry about your dishes,” she says.

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“It’s hard to learn Portuguese, because Portuguese people want to practice their English,” she says. “And they’re way better at it.”

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“Basically, if you live here, you either have a boat or you golf,” she says. “And we didn’t have a boat, and neither of us golfed.

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“We were solid,” she says. “We were very good. We were together all the time. Had been for 37 years.”

“It was terrible,” Kimberly says. “It just shouldn’t have happened… But it did. I still haven’t quite accepted it. It’s been eight months, but it seems like eight days.”

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“A lot of people assumed that I would come home,” she says. “But it’s not home anymore. I think I’ve been gone long enough and (I) was willing to leave in the first place.”

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Kimberly says she was touched by the support she received from the local community, who rallied round her.

“I kind of figured out I had more friends here than I thought,” she says. “As people have come to my aid. And you need that right now.”

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“I really don’t want to start over,” she says, adding that she’s not ready to move Mark’s stuff anywhere. “I’m staying right here in the same apartment for another year so I can take my time sorting things out.”

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“I have two sisters, and they both talked about jumping on a plane and coming out to be with me,” she says. “But they’re typical Americans, neither of them have passports.”

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“Not every single thing I do (here) is a memory without my husband,” she says, explaining that “every single thing hurts” when she returns to San Diego.

But while Portugal may not be filled with decades of memories of Mark, her grief remains inescapable regardless.

“I’m experiencing a loss that is hard to come to grips with,” she says. “But half of all people in my situation, half of all married people have to do this… I’m not that unique.

Kimberly and Mark had planned various trips together before his death, and she was keen to go ahead with at least one of them this year.

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“The tour was fantastic…” she recounts. “It was a lot of other single people… Everybody was very welcoming to me.

“And I can travel by myself. I’ve traveled alone. I know I can travel by myself, but traveling without Mark was a bar too high.”

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In August, Kimberly returned to the US and was finally reunited with her family for the first time since Mark’s death.

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“I knew the wedding was happening,” she says. “And I decided that I wanted my first trip home not to coincide with the joy of the wedding.

“I wanted to get that out of the way so the bride could have her joyous time, and I wouldn’t have to be a big downer.”

“Weddings are going to be hard for me,” she says. “So it was good to have a lot of that out of the way.”

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Kimberly had initially intended to stay in Portugal for Christmas, but says her loved ones have convinced her to spend the festive period in Oxfordshire, northwest of London, with friends she met while house sitting.

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“And to do the necessary work I need to do to move through this process, here is probably the best place to do it.”

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Kimberly says she now feels that she’s become more European than American in some ways, and is continuing to study Portuguese.

“I seem to lose it faster than I learn,” she admits, before explaining that she’ll eventually need to pass a Portuguese language proficiency test if she moves forward with her plans to seek permanent residency.

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“There’s a happy person in me that’s trying to come out every once a while, so I will get it back…” she says.

“I want to honor my husband, and being sad is part of that. So as hard as it hurts, it’s really important to do it.”

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