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Over the last few years, couplesgoing through a “sleep divorce”has been all the rage — or just the realization that partnered sleep isn’t always the harmonious thing people think it should be. But what if you actually have trouble falling asleep or sleeping when your partner isn’t there?

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“There has been so much focus on couples sleeping apart but it was sort of missing the other part of the story about why many couples do prefer to sleep together and why there tends to be this psychological drive to sleep with a person,” Troxel, author of “Sharing the Covers: Every Couple’s Guide to Better Sleep,” said. “At the basic level, sleeping together provides a sense of safety and security, which can really facilitate healthy sleep.”

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“Our brains want to feel safe and secure in order to fall asleep, and one of the best ways to feel safe and secure is to have relatively predictable routines and environments,” Troxel said.

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Doing these activities likely also mean you’re spending less time on screens before sleep, said Dr. Raj Dasgupta, associate professor of clinical medicine at Huntington Health in Pasadena, California. Sleep experts recommend turning off screensat least half an hourbefore going to bed.

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“Sometimes it is possible that a person may feel the need to master sleeping alone, even though they prefer to sleep with their partner — just for the sake of logistics and continuity when their partner isn’t there,” said Dr. Joshua Tal, a New York City-based clinical psychologist specializing in sleep issues.

One of the problems in trying to improve your sleep health alone is that the partner typically isn’t gone long enough for you to substantially develop the skill of sleeping independently, Tal added.

“After a couple of nights of not sleeping well, you will sleep. So, it’s important to give yourself a chance to experiment without the person in order to learn that you can sleep properly without them,” Tal said.

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If you need to feel your partner’s presence in some way, keep near you a photo of them or an object that has their smell, Tal said. Maybe that’s one of their recently worn shirts or a pillow with their cologne or perfume sprayed on it.

If you’re anxious about the room feeling too quiet without the sound of your partner’s breathing, “fans or using white noises are really good for simulating breathing noises,” Tal said.

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If you’re a morning person but your partner’s a night owl, perhaps they could cuddle with you in time for you to fall asleep, then quietly leave the room to do whatever they please until they’re ready for sleep, Troxel said.

If your bodies don’t agree on the bedding or mattress, try using different blankets. If you have the means, two mattresses of a different firmness can be pushed together, or you could look into a mattress with technology that allows different textures and elevation levels on separate sides.

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Doing all these things even while your partner is there can make your chances of maintaining a healthy sleep routine even better, experts said.

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